While guys may profess their love of all things silky, lacey and short, there are a few things in our wardrobes that leave the dudes scratching their heads. What if your fave outfits make their WTF list? We say go ahead and keep wearing ‘em if you like ‘em—this is just a fun peek inside the male mind.
High-waist jeansI’m not a fan of the high-waist jeans some girls wear—it reminds me too much of my old elementary-school teachers.
—Mike, 29Really high heelsCall me crazy, but if a gal looks like she’s really uncomfortable in the shoes she’s wearing, it makes me uncomfortable—I don’t care how hot the shoes are. I’m not saying you should rock New Balances instead, but if you can’t wear those heels without grimacing every step, maybe save them for seated events.
—Alex, 28Harem pantsI think that the weirdest women’s fashion choice has been those weird dumpy pants that make it look like girls have poops in their pants. I don’t want to talk to anybody wearing those pants.
—Peter, 30Hippie headbandsHipster girls have started wearing what look like belts on their heads. It’s cute in a pathetic way because it looks like they got confused while they were getting dressed.
—Robby, 30Cool hatsIf ladies are wondering whether they should wear that new hat they picked up on a whim at Urban Outfitters—you know, the fedora or the
Newsies-style hat or even the trucker hat—the answer is always the same: dear God,
no.
—Mike, 32PantsuitsWhen a woman wears a men’s-style button-down shirt, it’s super sexy; when she also wears slacks, a tie and a vest or blazer, it’s super manly—and not in the good Diane Keaton in
Annie Hall sort of way.
—Ian, 26BodysuitsThere’s nothing less sexy than getting to third base and realizing that your girl is wearing what is essentially a one-piece swimsuit.
—Ryan, 27Embellished bagsOne sweeping fashion trend that boggles the male mind is the case of the Gigantica-Godzillaca-Bedazzlement-Titanic-Tote Handbag complete with metal rings, chunky chain handles, leather loops, vertical zippers and who knows what. Girls can pack a guest room in there. Honestly, they look like Andie Walsh from
Pretty in Pink stitched them at home after a bottle of chardonnay.
—Rick, 30Furry boots (in summer)I can’t help but laugh when I see urban women sporting those super-furry Ugg boots. Sweetheart, you’re not competing in the Iditarod or about to plant a flag on Everest. Your run to get a blueberry smoothie and a manicure doesn’t require extreme survival gear.
—Dave, 24Fancy swimwearWhat’s with wearing fancy shoes, jewelry and makeup when you’re just hanging out at the pool?
—Rob, 33